The 2023 Ironworker’s Derby, Game 2 Recap Executive Summary [Parody]

I could never replace the writing super powers of our own Kyrsten Downton and James Siddall but they were off doing important things for our little club so you are all stuck with me 🙂

Unfortunately the only type of writing I know how to do is status reporting so with that in mind; I present you the Match Day 8 recap – Ironworker’s Derby Leg 2.

TSS Rovers Women

• It was a nice sunny day
• People were out with their fathers because of fathers day
• There was a good contingent of Swangardians and TSS Rovers fans
• There were also some Altitude fans there too
• Swangardians started drinking the Altitudes beer
• Rovers Women played with heart and passion
• Rovers Women scored 3 goals, specifically:
  • Delana Friesen (x2)
  • Sophia Faremo
• Chants were sung
• Smoke was set off
• Altitude scores 2 goals, I don’t have specifics
• There was a corporate Altitude flag, Swangardians pointed it out (we paint our own)
• Rovers Women with a big 3 – 2 win
• After the game we celebrated Chris Corrigan’s birthday with cake and a bit of a song led by the Rovers Women
• The Swangardians kept drinking Altitudes beer

TSS Rovers Men

• The day continued to be sunny
• The Altitude scored first, I don’t have specifics
• The Rovers Men then scored 5 goals, specifically:
  • Erik Edwardson (P)
  • Kyle Jones
  • Ivan Mejia
  • Kian Proctor (x2)
• The Swangardians drank all of Altitudes beer
• Much smoke was set off
• Many chants were sung
• There may or may not have been some pirated beers
• The Altitudes corporate flag was nowhere to be seen
• The Altitude set off some white smoke, we assumed in surrender

Summary

It was a nice sunny day that happened to also be fathers days and Chris Corrigan’s birthday. The TSS Rovers came and took all the Altitudes points (6 specifically). Swangardians helped by drinking all the beer. Honest assessment, Parallel 49 beer is better than Altitudes. It was a good day.